The Kettle Black

The Chronicles of Mia and Rocco

 

The Kettle Black is the story of two Hollywood outcasts, Mia and Rocco - the inseparable, irrational, and quite often irresponsible best friends - who turn to one another whenever in crisis. Such crises include everything from misplacing a half-smoked cigarette in Scarlett Johannsen’s sofa cushions, or getting stuck in an unwanted, long-winded conversation with James Cameron.

Mia, the daughter of an oppressive, silver-screened-has-been-mother, is the one-half of the duo who was born with a silver spoon up her ass. Rocco, the fabulously dressed orphan, is the other-half who continues to shove it deeper in there.

Their pursuit for happiness, success and peace of mind is on a constant collision course with the lives of the many celebrity counterparts, colleagues and frenemies they associate, and eventually sleep with. As main staples in the Hollywood scene, they too are subjected to the world’s watchful eyes – only they haven’t had to sell their souls to the E! Television Network to gain such attention - a la Mariah Carey! 

Mia’s quest to find true love is hindered by her lack of trust and scorn for men, at least until she can uncover the absolute truth about her famous father’s identity, because her mother can’t remember which costar planted that seed. Meanwhile Rocco desperately tries to fill the large void left behind by his loving, deceased parents, which has left him uncertain about his own future, and lacks the self-assurance to decide, pursue or commit to anything. It’s partly why he changes his shoes up to four times a day.  

Read along as Mia’s relentless hope to find true love and struggle for self-acceptance blows up in her sweaty plump, crumb cake-eating face. Trail along as Rocco finally looks to obtain a sustainable career, and seeks to bring his Psychic Friends Network premonition of finding a good pair of comfortably chic shoes to life. You may also just learn a salacious thing or two about your favorite celeb.

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 Christopher Albert, New York writer, performer and humorist is set to emerge as one of the most eccentric, comedic personas of our day. Feel free to browse through an abundance of humorous, entertaining content, and sign up to receive updates. 

 

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© 2019 Christopher Albert 

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